Adoption Timeline

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What I Have Learned the Past 12 Weeks

I promise, one day, I will post about Wyatt's birthday, but today I wanted to share and reflect on all the Lord has taught me since our precious baby boy came into our lives on June 15th.

1) The Lord showed me that my plan is not always His plan: For those who have heard Wyatt's birth story, it was definitely not what I had planned, but looking back it was perfect and beautiful. Ultimately, I am healthy and Wyatt is healthy and that is more than I could ever ask for.

2) I learned that I cannot do it on my own: Those first few weeks were very difficult; as I am sure they are for every new parent. I remember lying in my bed asking the Lord why he was not helping, and then I realized I had not asked. I was definitely begging for help during labor, but once Wyatt was here, it was like I forgot to ask for help from the one who could help me the most. No, He didn't miraculously step in and have Wyatt never cry or sleep perfectly through the night...but He did give me strength and the gift of patience that I did not have before.

3) Selflessness: The Lord first started to teach me about this when I got married. But, a! All the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that precious baby comes before you and your needs. You sacrifice your sleep for his, your warm meal to feed him, your shower for an extra minute to console him, your routine for his routine....but it's so worth it. And ultimately, I was reminded that these small sacrifices are NOTHING compared to Jesus who sacrificed His life for ours.

4) We are blessed: The outflow of love from our family and friends has been overwhelming. Matt and I are so blessed to have so many people praying for us and helping us as we make this new journey.

I can't believe that my 12 weeks with Wyatt is over and that I return to work tomorrow. It breaks my heart to think about leaving him. I could sit and stare at him forever. But, I have had 85 days with my sweet baby boy. 85 days to bond with him and to learn all of these life lessons I have shared...and for that I am grateful. Obviously, for those who know me well, you know I work in a field where sweet babies may never make it to 85 days. I know so many people who would give anything for 85 days. Matt and I have prayed every night since Wyatt was born, for those new parents, for those who are pregnant, and those struggling to conceive. And, we will continue to do so. Becoming a parent has truly been life changing, and as I go back to work I can smile knowing that our Father in heaven is watching over Wyatt. And even if on some days, I only get to rock Wyatt to sleep at night that is still an amazing gift that I will cherish and be so thankful for!! So, tomorrow I am going to try my hardest to focus on what I am thankful for: That I have a healthy baby boy, that I have a loving husband who will be so supportive during this transition, that I have an amazing job that is also so supportive, that I have amazing parents and in-laws who are going to watch Wyatt and that our Father in heaven has a perfect plan for our family. I can't promise I won't cry and that I won't be sad...but maybe if I try to remember this, it will help ease the transition.

Wyatt Locke, I love you soooo much and I cannot wait for you to one day see how much that not only your father and I love you, but for you to learn how much God loves you. You are a blessing!