What I Have Learned the Past 12 Weeks

I promise, one day, I will post about Wyatt's birthday, but today I wanted to share and reflect on all the Lord has taught me since our precious baby boy came into our lives on June 15th.

1) The Lord showed me that my plan is not always His plan: For those who have heard Wyatt's birth story, it was definitely not what I had planned, but looking back it was perfect and beautiful. Ultimately, I am healthy and Wyatt is healthy and that is more than I could ever ask for.

2) I learned that I cannot do it on my own: Those first few weeks were very difficult; as I am sure they are for every new parent. I remember lying in my bed asking the Lord why he was not helping, and then I realized I had not asked. I was definitely begging for help during labor, but once Wyatt was here, it was like I forgot to ask for help from the one who could help me the most. No, He didn't miraculously step in and have Wyatt never cry or sleep perfectly through the night...but He did give me strength and the gift of patience that I did not have before.

3) Selflessness: The Lord first started to teach me about this when I got married. But, a baby...wow! All the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that precious baby comes before you and your needs. You sacrifice your sleep for his, your warm meal to feed him, your shower for an extra minute to console him, your routine for his routine....but it's so worth it. And ultimately, I was reminded that these small sacrifices are NOTHING compared to Jesus who sacrificed His life for ours.

4) We are blessed: The outflow of love from our family and friends has been overwhelming. Matt and I are so blessed to have so many people praying for us and helping us as we make this new journey.

I can't believe that my 12 weeks with Wyatt is over and that I return to work tomorrow. It breaks my heart to think about leaving him. I could sit and stare at him forever. But, I have had 85 days with my sweet baby boy. 85 days to bond with him and to learn all of these life lessons I have shared...and for that I am grateful. Obviously, for those who know me well, you know I work in a field where sweet babies may never make it to 85 days. I know so many people who would give anything for 85 days. Matt and I have prayed every night since Wyatt was born, for those new parents, for those who are pregnant, and those struggling to conceive. And, we will continue to do so. Becoming a parent has truly been life changing, and as I go back to work I can smile knowing that our Father in heaven is watching over Wyatt. And even if on some days, I only get to rock Wyatt to sleep at night that is still an amazing gift that I will cherish and be so thankful for!! So, tomorrow I am going to try my hardest to focus on what I am thankful for: That I have a healthy baby boy, that I have a loving husband who will be so supportive during this transition, that I have an amazing job that is also so supportive, that I have amazing parents and in-laws who are going to watch Wyatt and that our Father in heaven has a perfect plan for our family. I can't promise I won't cry and that I won't be sad...but maybe if I try to remember this, it will help ease the transition.

Wyatt Locke, I love you soooo much and I cannot wait for you to one day see how much that not only your father and I love you, but for you to learn how much God loves you. You are a blessing!

Boy or Girl?!?

So everyone, including Matt and I, are wondering if this baby growing inside me is a boy or a girl? To clear this up...WE DO NOT KNOW!! No, we are not being mean and just not telling people. We honestly do not know. Do we want to know the gender of the baby? Of course! But we would prefer to wait until June to find out. Our doctor does not know and the sonographer did not even look in that "area." So, the only one who knows the gender of this sweet baby is God. I have had some people make comments that they didn't know how I could fully bond with the baby without knowing the gender? Seriously?!? Do you think a women who is told she is having a boy and later finds out that it is a girl loves that baby any less? Probablly not.

We are are so blessed beyond measure to be carrying this baby and whether it is a boy or a girl...we are already in love with it! Our God created this being and knows the every detail of it's genetic make-up. And in just 2 months...we will finally get to meet this gift! This is one surprise we will never forget!

So....until then....it sure is fun to guess!!! Here are some old wives tales and my responses about gender prediction...

1) If you prefer to sleep on your left side then it is BOY! 2) If have nausea and vomiting really bad throughout pregnancy then it is a GIRL! 3) If you have dry skin during pregnancy then it is a BOY! 4) If you have been craving fruits and sweets during pregnancy then it is a GIRL! 5) If your face is breaking out and reminds you of when your were in middle school it is a GIRL! 6) If you have not had a lot of weight gain in your face then it is a BOY! 7) If a toddler that your know shows no interest in the baby growing in your belly then it is a BOY! 8) The Chinese Gender Chart predicts BOY! 9) If you are carrying high it is a girl...if you are carrying low it is a boy....(I have no idea...see pics below to make your own prediction) 10) If the baby is the shape of a basketball it is a boy...if it is the shape of a watermelon it is a girl...(Again, I have no idea...see pics below to make your own prediction) 30 Weeks... 24 Weeks... 24 Weeks...

67 Days to go.....

Lead Me to the Cross

We have been studying Philippians in our home group and one of the questions that keeps coming up is "What stirs your affection for the Lord?" and "What robs your affection for the Lord?" I think other nations stir my affection for the Lord. I think it is so amazing to see the God of the universe work in areas that I did not even know exist. It reminds me of just how BIG our God truly is. I think music also stirs my affection for the Lord. I have always been one that music helps me focus, helps me study better, run faster or just work harder. Worship music helps me to stop my racing thoughts about all that is going on and just focus on Him.

Something else that I have been thinking about lately is those moments in life that cause me to bow at the feet of Christ. Maybe it was a time when I felt so helpless that all I knew was to go to the cross. Or maybe it was a time when I was so overwhelmed with joy and I stopped to realize that our God deserves all the thanks and praise. Whatever the situation may be, I pray that I am consumed by these moments. I know that when we wander from the cross that the Lord never leaves us, but I wish I never wandered. I wish that every second of every day that I am constantly seeking the Lord. Unfortunately, I confess, I still wander. Today I pray again..."Lead me to the Cross."

Savior I come, quiet my soul

Remember, Redemptions hill

where your blood was spilled

for my ransom

Everything I once held dear

I count it all as loss

Lead me to the cross

where your love poured out

Bring me to my knees

Lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to you

Oh lead me, lead me to the cross

Lead me to cross. Hillsong.

Birthday's and Anniversary

Starting February 14th, it is a 3 week long celebration at our house. First Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then our anniversary. This year we decided to go to San Diego to celebrate. Though the weather was not so friendly (the only time we walked on the beach we got hailed on) we still had a great time. We ate lot's of good food and got plenty of rest. We also made a trip to the San Diego Zoo, which was not quite as exciting as our safari in Botswana, but still definitely worth the trip! Here are some pictures from the trip!

New Year and New Tradition

Since not all my family is on Facebook, I decided I should start a blog for Matt and I so we can keep everyone updated. Warning: I am not very computer saavy, so I can't promise much. But I will definitely try. I have really enjoyed reading some of my dearest friend's blogs over the year, so they have inspired me! A will try to do a quick recap of what Matt and I have been up to...

March 7th, 2009: I could write a book on this perfect day...but since most of you were there I will keep it short. One of my favorite pictures is the one below. Not only can you see a proud daddy about to give his daughter away, but you can see the absolute excitement of a bride about to marry her groom. When I think about my emotions at this moment, finally seeing Matt, I am reminded of this beautiful song we sing in church. It's called "You're Beautiful" by Phil Whickham. Basically, it describes the beauty of arriving in eternity to meet our heavenly father. I can't even begin to comprehend what it will be like when we see our Savior face-to-face...but I can't help but believe the emotions I felt this day were a glimpse of what is to come.

Summer 2010: As you all know I had spent two summers in Zambia, Africa, my home away from home. Well this past summer, Matt and I got to experience this trip together. This trip brought a different type of excitment. Seeing my girls from the previous years was AMAZING...but seeing my husband fall in love with his own group of boys had to be the highlight. He had a group of teenage boys and he was such an amazing leader and role model to each one of them. Serving the Lord is great, but serving the Lord with your husband is even greater. We hope to get to go back again soon.

Other highlights have included buying our first home in Flower Mound and Matt getting his new dog Bumble. So, for now it's just the 4 of us...Me, Matt, Ellie and Bumble (our 2 chihuahua's). But this June, Ellie and Bumble will have to learn to share, because we are expecting our first child. More to come on that later!! We love you all and look forward to keeping you up to date on our journey.