Why International Adoption?

One of the first questions and probably most common questions we have received since talking about possibly adoption, is why international adoption?

So...I will try my best to give an answer. 

Why would you adopt internationally when there are over 400,000 children within the U.S. Foster System, with over 100,000 needing to be adopted here? 

First, I have a hard time separating an orphan in one country from an orphan in another country.  UNICEF recently reported that there are 150 to 200 MILLION orphans worldwide.  MILLION!! The U.S. population is just over 300 million to give you a rough idea of what this number means. 

Friends, this is not an issue that just lies within 3rd world countries...the orphan crisis is one that is worldwide. And so I ask, what makes one child's life more valuable than another? Their age? Their color?  Where they live? 

No...in God's eyes, we are all equal.  He made us uniquely and perfect in His image. 

So why then would we fly half way across the world to adopt??...Because that is where we believe our child is....God's child for us is. 

Our hearts break equally for the child without a mommy and daddy that lives in the U.S. as it is does for the child without a mommy and a daddy that lives across the world. But after much prayer and time..this is where God is leading us.  And where He calls us, we will follow.

International and domestic adoption are both a beautiful image of God's redeeming love...but it is His plan, His redemption.

Do I think we are all called to adopt? No. But I think we are all called to care for the orphan.  Maybe that means you adopt internationally, or domestically. Maybe that means you become a foster parent. Maybe you help with various children's shelters and orphanages around the world or even here locally.  Maybe this even just means reaching out to a neighborhood child who needs a little extra love today. 

Where is God calling you?

 

Jewelry with a Purpose

Over the next 6 months or so, we have planned several different fundraisers to help raise funds for our adoption expenses.  Right now, we are working on a jewelry sale, t-shirt sale, garage sale in addition to our main fundraising site for general donations. 

The first project is a jewelry sale! It is really a small world how this project fell into place.  I am a member of various China Adoption Groups, and a fellow adopting family posted about a fundraiser they were participating in.  It was beautiful hand-crafted jewelry that immediately caught my eye.  Here is what I read when researching this Etsy shop... 

"Humble Bee Project was created with the sole purpose of crafting jewelry to represent and further the Kingdom of Christ.

We do this by serving not only the poor, orphaned, and widowed all over the world with a portion of sales, but also serving those that are called to go out from their own home to pursue such as these.

"She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy."
Proverbs 31:20

Humble Bee Project uses coin currency from a diverse set of nations to create customizable rings, necklaces, and bracelets that can serve as a "stone of remembrance" and reminder that God is a faithful and good keeper of His Promises. He takes care of those in need and will not forget the orphans or the widows."

Little did I know, after reaching out to Melissa, the owner of Humble Bee Project, I would find out that she not only lived in my town, but she attended my church and we had a couple of mutual friends.  Her heart and desire for the nations mimicked ours and I was so excited to hear about how God was using her talent. 

Not only did a portion of all her sales support a ministry I was familiar with and also supported (Naomi's Village in Kenya) but she had recently started monthly adoption sales which would be used to help families who were adopting raise these funds. 

So, she graciously offered to work with our family this month and help us create a few jewelry pieces that would help spread the word and meaning behind adoption, but also help our family as we start fundraising. 

In the beginning...

As I sit down to really try and identify a certain moment in time where I knew we would adopt, I really can't.  I can say, that my heart has always been heavy for the orphan, for the fatherless (or motherless).  It started with several short term mission trips where I saw first hand the need for mommies and daddies.  As I have mentioned before, I don't know why God choose me to be born in Flower Mound, why I was so blessed to have both a mommy and a daddy to love me and raise me, but I was....that was His plan for me.  As a grew older, it became obvious, there is life beyond this town. There are lives here in the U.S. and lives around the world that are hurting and broken.

But friends, let me remind you, that wherever you were born, whatever you were born into, we are all broken.  But He is our healer, He is our rescuer.

So this desire stirred in our heart...an ache to love more.  Where did this desire come from?  I can promise you one thing, it is not of my own flesh.  I believe, that our God stirred in us this desire. Our ultimate Father, can take all brokenness and make good.  So this ache...it's HIS heart.  He loves each child he created....myself included. Once I believed that, that I am loved...then over time that love poured out.  Again, not of my flesh, but of His.

His love can be poured out in so many ways...His work in each of us is unique and different. But, with confidence, I can say, His plan for our family is to grow through adoption. This is one way we are being called to love more. 

"We love because He first loved us" 1 John 4:19

Adoption was actually a topic of conversation the night Matt and I met. I had just came home from Zambia and was quick to tell of all God did. You would have thought that might scare him off...but I guess God was doing a work in his heart too.  So from the first day we met...it was there...this ache. We didn't know what it would look like, but we simply followed. One conversation turned into the next, one circumstance led to another, and here we find ourselves in 2016 waiting for this child to call our own. We love her though we have not met her, we love her even though there is just a hope for her. 

Thank you God for loving us, broken as we are.  May your love overflow in our family and may we be a glimmer of light in the darkness.

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

It's official.....

 With hearts full of happiness we are so excited to finally share...

I will be using this blog as a way of keeping track of the details of our journey. Stay tuned for more details and take a look at our timeline to see what we have been up to the past 9 months. We also have included a link to our fundraising site! Thank you in advance for your prayers and support. God is good.

Matt, Ashley, Wyatt and Xander

Letters from the past...

I found this old letter of mine from 8 years ago. My passion for other countries started before this trip, but I must say, this particular trip was life-changing.  Here are the words from my 24 year old-self.

Well, it is now the beginning of September and I wanted to write and update you on the past 6 months. I must start by saying that this time has been centered around change: change in so many areas of my life. And as most of you know, I definitely have a hard time with change. But, it is during those times in life, when the path is uncertain, that your faith and trust in the Lord deepens as you learn to lean on Him and truly let Him guide your steps. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

In May, I traveled with a team of 5 to Berlin, Germany. We worked with a local church there and had the opportunity to minister to college students, to pray for the city as we walked through different areas of darkness and to help out this local ministry in any way possible. The ministry that took place during my 3 weeks in Germany was very different than previous mission trips. Germany is very similar to the United States in the sense that people there are not convinced of the deep need that cries from their heart. And if someone does not think they need anything, this presents many challenges when sharing the gospel. BUT…a challenge that is not too big for our mighty God. In fact, it was beautiful to see how God was using the local missionaries there to reach out to Germany. It is completely centered on relationships. Building relationships and investing in others, while patiently waiting for the people of Germany to see that this love we give to others is a love that only comes from Christ. And with time, the eyes of Germany, and I believe the world, will see something different about Christianity. They will see the Light of Christ shining out of us. And this Light has and will continue to change and ultimately save a dying world. “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

I arrived home from Germany about 36 hours before my graduation from pharmacy school. I still can not believe that I have graduated. What a wonderful day that was to walk across the stage, among my friends, and look out and have my family and friends there to support me. I thank you all again, for your support and encouragement during the past 6 years. God truly blessed me by your words of encouragement, your love, and the countless other ways that you supported me. I must admit, a part of me really misses school. Going from being a full-time student to a full-time pharmacist is definitely a change and one that I am still adjusting to. However, in the end, I know that it is time for a beautiful chapter in my life to be closed, and a new one to be opened. I can not wait to see what this next chapter will look like.

About a month after graduating, I was blessed once again to embark on a journey that would change my life. On July 5th, I left the country, AGAIN, for the country of Zambia. Let me give you a little background information on Zambia. Zambia lies in southern Africa and is ranked as the 7th worst human poverty index in the world. The life expectancy is around 38 years of age. A large part of this is due to the devastation of the AIDS virus. What happens when a population has this short life expectancy? It leaves a country where half the population is less than 15…and over 1 million orphans. Orphans that are left to survive on their own, to go to bed at night hungry, and even worse…1 million orphans who go to bed at night terrified, wondering if this will be their last night in the nightmare they were born into.

So, I left to go see this country for myself. I had no idea what I could possibly do, or how God was going to use me. But I left, for one week, to just get a mere glimpse into their life. Little would I know that this glimpse into their life would change mine. I went with an organization called Family Legacy Missions. This ministry has, since 2001, poured into the lives of Zambian orphans and allowed an opportunity for other Americans to be a part of this life change as well. For 8 weeks during the summer, in Lusaka Zambia, there is Camp Life! What is Camp Life? Well, each week, around 900 orphans or vulnerable children come to camp to experience life ABUNDANTLY. For one week, they are taken from their nightmare to be loved and given words of Truth. From the ages of 5-17, these orphans come in, broken and bruised, from the inside out, and experience a week of life change.

I had a group of 17 beautiful girls who were aged 12-16. The theme for this year was Freedom in Christ. They were taught about the lies that Satan feeds them and then given truth: They are LOVED, ACCEPTED, SECURE, SIGNIFICANT, VICTORIOUS and FREE in Christ. Majority of my girls had not heard the name of Jesus prior to Monday morning. By the end of the week, they not only believed, but they were running through their villages telling others of our amazing King and how much He loves us.

During the week, I had time to spend one-on-one time with each girl, to hear her story, and to pray for her. I will not go into detail about each story (though I would love to) but I just want to take this opportunity to share that these stories were indescribably horrific. Listening to the girls cry as they told me what they went home to every night, left me bowing at the feet of Christ, begging Him to reach down and spare them. Why was I so fortunate to be born into what I was? I didn’t choose Flower Mound, Texas. And they didn’t choose Zambia, but now they have to live in it, fighting each day to survive.


All week, I kept praying for God to continue to open my heart so I could feel the pain they felt. See, your first response is to want to close up, to believe that what you are seeing and hearing is not true. So, I continued to pray fervently all week, that I would not become cold toward the devastation I was seeing. On the last day, I had to say good-bye to 17 girls who I had become so close with. I had to look into their eyes, which were now filled with the hope of Christ, and tell them I had to go home; worse…to tell them that they had to go home. I cried as I begged them to continue to be filled with joy even after Camp Life was over. See, the joy that I saw in their eyes, was not from ANYTHING that I said or did directly, it was from the amazing work of Jesus Christ. So, even after camp was over, they were SAFE and SECURE in Christ. For the last hour we were together, we as a group decided to spend that time crying out to Jesus together. I can still hear their waling so vividly, and I pray that I never forget the sights and sounds specifically from that last hour together. As painful as it was to watch them cry out like they did, the only thing that gave me comfort and peace was to know, they were crying out to Him, the ultimate healer of all wounds. That week He saved them and for the short days remaining in their lives, He will forever be the protector of their heart. And one glorious day, we will all rejoice together at the feet of Him who saved us all.

So, now I am home once again, and I just had to share with you not only what was going on in my life, but what was going on in Choolwe’s life, in Tisa’s life, in Clara’s life, and in the life of all the other 1 million Zambian Orphans. So, what can we possibly do for a country that is so far away? Friends and Family…the options are ENDLESS.

Well I think that is it for now. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I love you all so much and I am so excited to share with you this passion God has laid on my heart and I hope that you too will feel a pull in your heart to pray for these children. Because if we don’t….who will?


“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God is this: to visit the widows and the orphans in their distress.” James 1:27

Nikukondani
(I love you all)

So this was just over 8 years ago.  Since then I have had the opportunity to go back to Zambia two additional times, once with Matt.  Since having children, we haven't been able to go on any international mission trips, but I know that day is coming.  This time, with our kids in tow.  Oh how I long to see my boys serving others, to grow and learn to love like Christ, to see life outside the U.S.  I pray for their little hearts now, that they will see the light of Jesus Christ and that through Him, they will be a LIGHT in a dark world. 

Xander Luis

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19

Xander Luis...you entered this world on February 26th, 2015 and our lives have been forever changed.  Actually, the years and days leading up to your earthly arrival were some of the hardest and greatest days our family has shared.  We did not lose hope, we did not lose heart.  Isn't that everyone's story...days of celebration, days of mourning, days of peace and days of chaos.  But, wow, to know our GOD, is CONSTANT.  I am a planner....I like to know how things are going to turn out.  But this pregnancy was a little different.  Disclaimer: Xander was and has been completely healthy...but Satan had a way of trying to sneak in and cover me in fear anytime he could.  I wish I could say I never struggled with fear or doubt, but I would be lying.  Even when Xander was finally in my arms, I was somehow overcome by BELIEF and DISBELIEF. Is that even possible?? I guess so. 

Back to February 26th...the day was perfect.  I had wanted a VBAC, but slowly my heart changed and the Lord made it clear that was not best for me.  And, honestly, I was relieved.  I got to tuck Wyatt into bed one last time as a single child, prepare my heart that morning and walk into the hospital at 5am.  No laboring for 24 hours to end in C-Section like last time.  Just a smooth, beautiful morning.  My mom and dad showed up around 4:30...and like my daddy always says..."It's show time."  The preparation, the surgery, everything went perfectly except for a little vomiting.  But, when do I not vomit??  And, once again, we didn't know....baby girl or baby boy.  But at 7:55am....I saw HIM...Xander Luis.  Thank you Lord.  We are so so so undeserving of this gift?  Why us?  Why would You choose us to be Xander's mommy and daddy?  I don't know why...but He did.  Thank you Lord.


The highlight of the day...telling Wyatt he had a baby brother. I was adamant that he would be the first to know, the first to see baby Xander.  It was so perfect. My heart was so full. 

The recovery was definitely easier this time around.  And things just seemed more natural.  Unfortunately, PPD would rear it's ugly head once again at around Day 10, just like last time.  It wasn't any easier this time.  It was still some of the hardest, darkest days my soul has felt. It is devastating to be swallowed in a darkness that has no real source.  It is devastating to literally go from joy to being paralyzed in a matter of hours.  But this time, Matt and I had prepared, we knew what to look for. We knew what had to be done when this disease started to cast it's shadow over me. And as the days went on, the sun began to shine again.  I began to be able to feel my breath again.  PPD is a funny thing, because you aren't yourself....so my anchor, my Lord, I couldn't even feel Him.  You are just in a fog.  But, when the fog cleared, I knew once again, He didn't leave me. And somehow, through those dark days, He will be glorified. 

Oh Xander....you are quite the opposite of your big brother.  What a fun year it has been.  Umm....you have blonde hair and blue eyes by the way.  You are exactly what our family needed. I can't wait to see what all the Lord has planned for you. 

So, for now, we are enjoying making memories and praising the Lord for our family of four.  We will see what the future holds though...Lord willing, we can be four plus more.

He Gives and Takes Away

Have you ever noticed the beauty of a stone?  Take a wedding ring…it’s often a beautiful stone that is complimented by either other stones, or an additional band. It’s perfect and unique. Though other stones out there may look similar to an outsider, your ring is completely unique.  And you can’t imagine it any other way.

A lesson that has been slowly revealed to me over the past year or so is the perfect and unique nature of each of our lives.  Just like a beautiful wedding ring, our story, because it is written by God, is perfect and unique.  Every second of our lives were weaved together, like a patch on a quilt, to complement each other and in the end, create a beautiful masterpiece.  Every crushing trial and every joyous blessing, as it passed through the hands of our God, was perfect and unique to our life story. 

I bought two beautiful rings recently from James Avery, to remember two lives that were important to me.  They were two birthstone rings, so I had no choice in the color, but God did.  And as I slipped my two new rings on my finger, I couldn’t help my smile through my sadness, that these two stones complimented each other.  I couldn’t imagine one without the other.  They were perfect. And alone or apart from each other, it would be a totally different.  And so I was reminded, that each step in our journey here on earth, was created to all be interwoven to create a masterpiece.  Through life’s first cry, to death’s final breath, HE is doing something in you, creating a masterpiece.

Sometimes, when you are in the storm, you can’t see the beauty and you definitely can’t see the why behind it.  I will be honest, there are so many things I can think of, that I still don’t understand why.  But I do know, that is wasn’t meaningless.  And one day, when I am standing before the thrown, it will all make sense.  That beautiful quilt, filled with crushing trials and numerous mountaintops, will be revealed in full.  And it will honor Him.  It will glorify Him.  Because I didn’t create it, only He did.  He knew what patch would accentuate the other, He knew the color of each thread. 

So be reminded today, that whether you have just witnessed the miracle of life as a new cry filled the room, or whether you said goodbye too soon to someone that you loved, that God is there. Whether you are in a season of waiting, a season of loss, or a season of overwhelming blessings, He is there. When all else changes, He is constant.  He is good.

He gives. He takes away. Blessed be His name.